


How did it end up like this?

by dead_daydreamer_jpg



Category: Suits (US TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Caring Harvey, Confessions, Declarations Of Love, Developing Relationship, Donna is Donna, Donna knows everything, Eventual Happy Ending, Falling In Love, Falling in Love at the End of the World, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Heartache, Hurt Mike Ross, Love Confessions, M/M, Past Dana Scott/Harvey Specter, Past Relationship(s), Protective Harvey Specter, Scared Harvey, harvey has feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:07:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28355181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dead_daydreamer_jpg/pseuds/dead_daydreamer_jpg
Summary: It started with a kiss. A kiss in Mike’s living room.  A simple one that leads to their downfall because now it’s not Mike’s living room they are standing in, it's Harvey’s, and Harvey just threw a glass at the wall. It was only a kiss.
Relationships: Dana "Scottie" Scott & Harvey Specter, Donna Paulsen & Mike Ross, Donna Paulsen/Rachel Zane, Mike Ross & Harvey Specter, Mike Ross & Rachel Zane, Mike Ross/Harvey Specter
Comments: 2
Kudos: 71





	1. A not-so-happy beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first multi-chapter fanfiction so my apologies in advance if it's a little confusing. Also, there will be spelling errors, I have a small learning disability but I try my best. Overall, I hope you all like this. I found a few writing prompts that sounded like they fit and made this out of it. 
> 
> I DO NOT own any of the characters, show, or the prompts used to make this.

Friday night 

It was 1:00 in the morning and from the looks of it, he wasn’t going home anytime soon. This isn’t anything new for the young associate he does this so much he has Advil in his bag for when the headache kicks in, those are the worst. The only thing surprising about this whole situation is that it isn’t Harvey’s work he’s working on or his own, it’s Louis’s. Some pro bono case about a harassment claim that Louis didn’t ‘have the time’ to do, Mike swears he only does this to piss off Harvey which he is probably right about but regardless he has work to do, thankful it was Friday, to say the least. 

A few more hours pass before his eyes and he still isn’t done but he doesn't think he is far from it either, he just hasn’t got it yet. He hears a few footsteps but doesn’t bother looking up, thinking it’s just the janitors making their rounds before leaving. He wishes he could do the same. 

“Mike?” The sound of his boss’s voice makes him look up, he’s hit with a small wave of confusion. Not sure why the Senior partner is here at this hour. 

“Why are you still here?” Harvey asks walking over to see what the hell he was working on. Mike quickly covers it before he could look at it, he didn’t want to start more office drama between the two. 

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” Mike counters, leaning back in his office chair with his earbud still in. 

“I asked you first and last time I checked you’re my associate meaning I have a right to know why you’re at the office this late in the night” Harvey deflects, clearly not taking any answer but the truth from Mike. Mike would never lie to him about something so stupid but he didn’t see the need to start unnecessary drama. After all, when Harvey and Louis go at each other’s throats the whole firm is affected. 

“Speak up, rookie, I don’t have all night” Harvey demands, his eyebrow raised. 

Mike lets out a tired sigh. “Just doing some work for lo-'' before he could finish his sentence Harvey, to no one's surprise, cuts him off. 

“And why are you doing that?” Harvey questions somewhat sternly, almost like he was offended.  
Did it really hurt this man’s pride that much? Mike rolled his eyes at the thought. He wouldn’t be surprised if it did though. 

“Because he asked me to and you aren’t my only boss” Mike barks back, he’s annoyed but more at the fact that it’s almost three in the morning and he still isn’t done yet. This job is gonna kill him and he knows it. 

Harvey doesn’t say anything after that but he doesn’t leave either, both are surprising. Mike just thinks it’s because the other is tired as well. He must be, the last time Harvey was up this late was two months ago, the only reason Mike knows that is because they were working on a case together that night and got dinner as well. 

What Harvey does is grab the folder and look it over, not really reading anything it seems but taking in enough information to judge it. Something he knows the other male does often when it comes to Mike’s work. 

“Looks done to me,” he speaks before putting it down, leaving Mike with a confused look. "Come on, let me take you home," Harvey added, once again not taking no for an answer.

Mike agreed since he wanted to be home anyway and he didn't want to fight with Harvey this late into the night. He also wanted to know why Harvey was here this late as well since he didn't say.

Grabbing the folders and stuffing them in the leather messenger bag before pushing his chair in and leaving the cubicle for the night-- morning, it was four in the morning now. 

Jesus, how time flies even when you aren't having fun.

"Why are you here?" Mike asked, walking next to Harvey as they left the building, even the janitors have left. 

It takes a few seconds for Harvey to answer. He looks like he's trying to gather his story but it could just be how the streetlights are hitting him.

Of course, Mike notices. He notices how the yellow dull lights hit Harvey's pale and tired-looking face and how they don’t do any justice to his deep and warm brown eyes, and how- his thoughts are interrupted by the other’s answer. 

"Couldn't sleep. Figured I'd get some work done" he finally says looking at Mike as Ray opens both of the doors for the two lawyers.

Mike nods. He thought all the work for tonight was finished? He also remembered watching Harvey leave early because of it. Was Harvey lying to him? Keeping things from him? Or even worse was Harvey in trouble and wasn’t going to allow Mike to help?. 

Although all of these were all pretty bad the last one seemed to scare him the most. Mike didn’t care what happened to himself or the cases as long as Harvey was okay, which he pretty much always was if anything it was always Mike being the unstable one, creating a mess wherever he goes. That’s what Harvey says at least. 

Was Harvey really in trouble? Donna would have told him right? Right?  
Yeah, of course, she would. What if Donna doesn’t know?. That isn’t possible, She knows everything.

Everything.

That’s it! He’ll call her or ask her on Monday about what’s going on with Harvey. All proud of himself for figuring that out on the fly he gets in the back seat of the car before Harvey does because ‘ladies first’. 

“Do you think you can sleep now?” Mike asks, earning a confused look from Harvey before he seems to remember what they were talking about a few minutes ago. Mike could never understand how people forget things so easily, maybe because he hasn’t truly forgotten anything since he was three. 

“That’s what I’m hoping for” He responds dully, something is on his mind and Mike knows it. He sees it in the other eyes before looking out the window at the newly awakened city, but he says nothing since he also knows he’ll never get a straight answer out of the other male. It used to be a pet peeve when they started working together and anyone with a brain could figure out why but now it was more concerning even if he has grown accustomed to it. Harvey has always been out of touch with his emotions so much so it makes him oblivious sometimes, Mike has seen this play out first hand in pro bono cases to even his past relationship with Scottie. 

This was just how Harvey is and while Mike didn’t agree with it necessarily he can’t lie and say he doesn’t see the benefits. 

Once they got to Mike’s apartment he got out first and Harvey followed him which wasn’t something he had ever done before, hell, Harvey has never been inside his ‘shoebox’ apartment. He didn’t say anything at first, thinking this is where Harvey was just going to tell him what was going on. That’s what he was hoping for anyway, he was beyond worried at this point especially with this recent development of walking with him to the front door but it didn’t stop there. Harvey follows him into the apartment, making Mike even more confused if that was even possible. 

“Harvey, what are you doing? Are you ok-” before Mike could finish his sentence he was once again cut off but not by Harvey’s voice but his lips.

Harvey was kissing him, his hands on his waist leaving Mike frozen in place. Kissing Harvey was like kissing an angel or the closest thing to it, soft and gentle. Nothing you would expect out of a man like Harvey. A man who prides himself on the destruction of his enemies and yet he was kissing him tenderly and holding him like he was made of glass. 

He felt safe like nothing could hurt him anymore. Mike swears when their lips touch, lighting shoots through him and sparks fly, he’s never felt more complete until now as if Harvey was his missing piece. He also couldn’t help but take a mental note of how his lips tasted like scotch and pain. 

To be fair the two had been working together for almost three years now and they are nothing like they were when they first met, of course, it seems that way to everyone around them, excluding Donna. They have grown together and their bond gets stronger with each case they get and that's what started Mike’s crush on his boss. Well, that’s how he thinks it developed anyway. What really sealed the deal for him though were all the late nights in the office, they would have dinner together and share pieces of their childhood with one another. These moments were times Mike was thankful for his memory so he would never forget Harvey's face when he finally told him his parents' names, not that it was a secret or anything but it was history and he never saw the need to bring it up or didn’t think Harvey wanted to know. Harvey’s face softened that night, he looked at him like time stopped for a second before going back to work. 

When no one was around is when they bonded more personally, when they really got to know each other and not just be the kick-ass lawyers they are in court. What they had was something special and something Mike would never want to risk losing which is why he never made a move or said anything about everything they have opened up about over late dinners and case files, it was an unspoken agreement between the two. One Mike never agreed on but one he couldn’t refuse either.

When they pulled away Mike immediately wished they hadn’t. The world started to turn again but that didn’t matter, he was still focused on the taller male, looking up at him with a bright pink blush on his face that he only assumed was getting brighter the more he looked at him. Harvey slowly took his hands off his waist, he looked like he was in a pure panic like he didn’t want this at all like he made a mistake. 

“Mike..I” Harvey looked at everything but him. This isn’t how Mike imagined their first kiss, this wasn’t supposed to go like this. This was supposed to be the beginning of their relationship, where they finally admit that they have had feelings for each other throughout their years of working together. 

What went wrong? Fuck, did Harvey not want this? Well if he didn’t why would he kiss him? It's not like Mike was the first person to make the first move. 

“I think you should go..” Mike finally spoke creating space between them. He turns away and even with his back towards the other he already knows Harvey is nodding and heading for the door. 

What the fuck just happened?


	2. The aftermath

Monday Morning (two days after the kiss) 

He wakes up in the same hundred dollar bed in the same condo nothing is different, except that it is. Today is the first Harvey has to look Mike in the eyes after he let his emotions get the best of him and kissed him. He still can’t seem to stop screaming at himself for doing it even though he would do it again in a heartbeat. He just didn’t want to ruin anything between them but it seemed like the damage was already done because neither of them has spoken to each other since it happened. 

Harvey didn’t exactly call Mike either but he isn’t the victim here.

By the time he gets to the office he has already gone through three mental debates with himself on whether he should work from home for the next few days or take a few sick days to avoid anything awkward. He hates to admit it but he's terrified to look Mike in the eye, those baby blues that could make him smile any day. Those same baby blue eyes that made him fall in love in the first place. Those same baby blues that turned the best closer in the city to a scared little boy with feelings he’s never experienced before. 

It’s ridiculous and he feels like a coward. He’s done this many times with women he’s just trying to pick up. It shouldn't be a big deal and yet he gets this twisted feeling in his stomach when he thinks about how today might go. 

Regardless Harvey is still a man of responsibility and things need to get done. Work needs to be finished and money needs to be made. No one could push emotions down better than Harvey and even though it backfired on him last week he wasn't gonna let it happen again, ever again.

That’s a promise. 

Reaching his office without a problem, walking in confidently and his head held high. It's nothing new but it never got old. It was a sign of power and even at its weakest point he used it as a shield and for the most part, it held up nicely. Even after his breakup with Scottie, he was still able to keep it together but as the days go on he started to think that’s because he was never in love with her in the first place. Mike helped him realize that and they didn’t even need to have a conversation about it. 

"Harvey, what happened?" Donna asked, already seeing right through him. As if the shield wasn't there and to her it never was, she had long broken down his shield and he was never able to bring it back since. 

"Looks like you already know." He responded, his tone is dull and he isn't in the mood to have this conversation. He’s trying to let this go, show he doesn’t care, and not think about it.

"And by the answer of that it didn't go too well" she states like it's a fact. Which in a lot of ways it is.

"I told you it wasn't a good idea and now look what happened!" His voice got a lot louder than he wanted it to be and instantly regretted it. He's pissed not at her but at himself, She didn’t do anything wrong but push him to do the one thing he’s dreamed about since these feelings started. He just has a long history of taking it out of people, Donna and Mike know that more than anyone.

"Oh, so this is my fault!?" She argues back, getting up and angrily walking towards the door.

"You know what Harvey? Here's an idea. How about you stop running away from everything and just admit you have human fucking emotions like the rest of us" she starts and Harvey rolls his eyes turning his chair away from her.

"He isn’t Scottie or any of your other hooks up. He isn’t gonna just chase you around until you finally admit to yourself that you care about him" she barks, finishing her speech and walking out. Slamming the door behind her leaving them both surprised it didn't break.

Harvey knows she’s right. Mike isn’t gonna wait forever and that’s what scares him the most. Losing Mike because of his own actions makes his skin crawl, knowing that whatever he just started could destroy them forever; he felt himself shiver at the thought. This is why he doesn’t do relationships in the first place, he’s known to fuck things like this up and he didn’t want Mike to be on that list. They have a good thing going with their friendship of many nicknames and heartaches, a strong bond that brings out the best in both of them, another thing only Mike would admit to. They have been through so much together from very rough cases to personal matters such as that boy Trevor Evans and Harvey’s break up with Scottie. He couldn't lose that. He won’t lose that, he’ll do whatever he has to. 

No wonder this line was crossed. He would give up everything for Mike and he wouldn’t think twice about it. The thought of Mike going to prison makes him want to get on his knees like he can’t live without his dorky smile in the morning or the glossiness in his eyes at 1 am. He knows he’s being dramatic but that’s the only way he can explain it. 

“Fuck, you really did a number on me, mom” he murmurs to himself getting up from the chair to get some much-needed scotch. 

“Good morning, Harvey. I have that file on the Oliva Peterson case” Mike says as he makes his way into the office that suddenly feels too small and big at the same time. Harvey takes the file handed to him.

They share an awkward look filled with confusion and both seem to be trying to just get through the workday, no more — no less. Finally pulling his eyes off the blued eyed puppy to open the file, scanning it over. He’s stopped being surprised at the amazing work his associate does a long time ago, he does take note of the improvements as he learns new things. He swears the kid's mind is a sponge soaking up all the information and praise it can get. 

The Oliva Peterson case is a pro bono case that Jessica forced him to do for going behind her back yet again. He doesn’t know why she keeps him around other than how much business he brings to the firm and that he’s loyal, even if it isn’t to her. They have a long history and that seems to give him more than just a few advantages. 

Even though he was told to do this by himself he was getting help from Mike, he was better with cases like this then Harvey was since he didn’t connect with the clients. One of the many rules he has made for himself after years of working. 

It’s a simple case about a single mother in a custody battle but like usual she loves her husband too much to give up on him and their marriage even though it's clear the environment isn’t the best for a child to grow up in just like it’s clear that Oliva is the better guardian out of the two. Harvey could never completely understand this way of living, having hope in things that logically make no sense, things that will only do more harm than good. Mike, on the other hand, seemed to understand right off the bat almost like an immediate connection, something Harvey would never let himself admit to but it reminded him of their friendship. 

How they just understand each other and how they use that connection against their clients. 

“I think we should go see her.” Mike declares as if he runs the show.

“And why is that? We already had a meeting with her. What else is there to know?” he asked the other. His tone dries as he turns on his heels to walk back to his desk and taking his seat still cradling the glass of whiskey.

“Because she’s scared. He’s never done this before and she could use someone to walk here through it, to reassure her that it's gonna be okay” Mike’s eyes have a bit of passion in them as he talks and of course Harvey sees it. Harvey already knows Mike cares about this woman and is only trying to do his best. 

“We aren’t her parents Mike.” He says sternly as he watches a wave of shock roll over Mike. 

“Really, Harvey?” Mike starts, voice starting to rise. Something Harvey expected to hear as soon as he said it. “ you’re right we aren’t but her daughter's life is on the line here. She has every right to be worried and sacred. The least we can do is reassure her that we are doing whatever we can to make sure she keeps her.” Mike’s voice is heavy as he leaves almost baffled.

He knows Mike is right to but damn he’s busy trying to do a hundred different things with a hundred different deadlines. He doesn’t have the time to run around checking on clients and their children, he doesn’t even check in on Ray’s kids and he’s his driver. 

Somehow he knows he’ll end up giving in. It's hard to say ‘no’ when it comes to Mike, especially on the rare occasion that he’s right. He just has to find an excuse as to why he’s giving in. 

He lets out a few sighs as the hours pass and before he knows it he’s the last person in the office. Sitting at his desk with his chair leaned back, his second glass of scotch in hand. 

His mind is racing and he feels like this day couldn’t have gotten any worse. He’s asking himself all types of questions and beating himself over the head because he loved that night. He loved the way Mike’s lips felt against his, they were soft and just the right size for his own as if Mike’s lips were made for Harvey’s. He loved the way Mike’s hips felt in his hands and how Mike didn’t pull away but pull him closer. He loved everything about that moment and not for a second can he bring himself to regret it because he knows he’ll never get it again. 

As much as he hates to be put in this situation even though he’s the one that did it this time he has to do what's best regardless of how it makes him feel. Taking a long sip of the scotch in hand as he accepts that he’s gonna have to put distance between them, Harvey will refuse to talk about that night and he won’t even pay it any mind.

He feels his heartbreak as he leaves his office for the night, the empty glass still on his desk leaving it there to remind himself about the decisions he made.


	3. Not so easy

Tuesday (three days after the kiss) 

As Mike walks into the office that still makes him shiver more often than not, knowing all of this can go away just as quickly as he got it but not nearly as simple. He’s never felt this alone and that's the funny thing because from an outsider he’s always alone, only sometimes talking to Rachel or seen with Harvey to go with a client. 

On a regular day, he’s at his cubicle just working the hours away but still giving the files to Harvey at his desk before he leaves for the day. Sometimes they end up on Donna’s desk instead but that’s only when they are fighting or more specifically when Mike can’t bear the feeling that office gives him. 

The tightness in his chest knowing that one day he might never be able to walk into it the next morning. The butterflies he gets when all the memories Harvey and he share inside the four glass walls flood his mind. The small smile he gets when glancing at the basketballs he’s never supposed to touch. 

It’s not that the anger stops him from stepping inside for the three seconds it would take to drop the files off. It's almost the exact opposite. It’s that Harvey’s office makes him want to forget the argument ever happen, to text him right there and just plead for forgiveness even if he’s right. Because when they are fighting, even when it's nasty and leaves the whole firm scared, Mike can’t help but love him. 

A part of him wants to believe that if he could change it, he would, but he’s not sure he has that type of strength. He hates what it does to him, the man it's made him become but every time he gets a glimpse of those warm, deep chestnut brown eyes with the slightest bit of gold hidden within them, the whole world stops spinning and he’s falling deeper than he ever thought he could. 

That's why it’s eating him up inside that either of them has spoken about the kiss. The very kiss he can’t get his mind off of. The same kiss that he thinks about having over and over again, some even in the very office he’s standing in right now. Trying to pretend that it meant nothing to him. 

Donna knows, she’s got to, not because she knows everything but because she keeps giving him softer glances and not teasing him nearly as much. As if she feels bad for him as if she knows what he’s going through and to be honest she might but somehow that’s not comforting. It only makes him want to drop the files on her desk and never bat another eye at him but that would be too easy and somehow that might make matters worse. 

Can it even get worse? God, he hopes not.

“Mike?” Harvey’s stern tone, now annoyed cause once again Mike can’t stop himself from zoning out. 

“Yeah? Sorry, long night” He snaps out of it. Giving a simple excuse that isn’t entirely wrong. 

“Did you hear anything I just said?” Mike just shakes his head, trying not to beat himself up at the disappointed look he gets from Harvey.

“Thought so” Even with the disappointed look his tone is sharp like a knife, a knife Mike would gladly cut himself open with. 

God, he’s so tired of feeling like a burden to others, and nowadays it's only getting worse. This heavy feeling on his chest. This voice whispering in his ear telling him to check his work more than twice because his memory is starting to become the only part of him that is useful. He’s even considering leaving all the finished files at Donna's desk for a while until this runt he’s in passes. Until he figures out how to magically reverse falling in love with his mentor. 

“We are going to see Mrs. Peterson.” Harvey finishes declaring how they were gonna spend the next hour and a half. 

“What caused the change of heart? Did Donna convince you I was right or did Jessica threaten you with another pro bono case? “ Mike teases as an attempt to lighten the mood. It worked because he could hear a small chuckle from the ginger outside. 

“It’s not any of your business but if you MUST know then I just want this case to get done with little to no complications and if comforting her will make that happen then so be it. '' Harvey deflects like he always does. Mike is used to it at this point but today he doesn’t have the energy to find out what that really means. 

“Whatever you say, Batman” He shoots a comeback at Harvey only to be given another glare telling him to get out which Mike happily compiles but Harvey’s voice stops him before he could leave through the door. 

“I’ll be outside in 10, Ray is taking us. Oh and by the way, try to stay focused” Mike wants to believe Harvey says that because he cares and to a certain degree he knows he does, Just not the way Mike wants him to. 

Mike nods and gets on his way to the cubicle, a head filled with so many thoughts he almost forgets to wave Donna a goodbye and he never forgets anything but before he could scold himself he’s greeted by an angry Louis in the bullpen. Mike considers going back to Harvey’s office or to talk to Donna for a few minutes with a lame excuse of needing a pen. The only problem is Donna writes in blue ink and Harvey prefers black, they both know that and as for seeing Harvey, he would rather take his seat at his desk. Louis seems to be less of a problem than Harvey nowadays. 

“Oh look who it is, Harvey’s golden boy finally decided to join us” Louis’s brash voice filled his ears and all of the associates are now looking at him. Mike just sighs, he didn’t even get to sit down. This week is slowly becoming one he wishes he could forget. 

“Sorry, I was with Harvey going over a client” He apologizes in a weak attempt to make amends because when Louis gets like this it’s the only thing Mike can do. It's the only thing any of the associates do but it didn’t seem to work considering they are all standing still like rocks while he pushes past him to get to his bag. 

“You don’t only work for Harvey, Mike. We are losing clients! We don’t have time for you to go run off with Harvey! “ He’s yelling now, spit flying from his mouth. He feels bad for Harold who is standing right next to him, frozen and scared. 

Mike snaps. He’s had it up to roof with today already and he wasn’t going to take any more shit then he doesn’t have to because they aren’t losing clients, Louis is. Louis fucked up big time in blackmailing another associate and like he did when he tried with Mike, it backfired and now Louis is doing what he always does, taking advantage of his position. 

“No, Louis!” Mike hears the anger in his voice so much so his hands are in fists. He needs a minute, hell, he needs a whole day but that would be too easy.

Instead, he takes a breath and tries to use what working for Harvey has taught him over the years, keep a cold face and a stern voice because if the enemy doesn’t know what you are feeling they can’t get to you. While that's good advice that has never worked for Mike, he feels too much and it always gets him into trouble as a result of that he’s learned to take a breath before he speaks. 

“No, Louis” He starts again, thankful he took that breath because he no longer sounds shaken up or broken down. He certainly feels that way though but that feeling has nothing to do with Louis. “We aren’t losing clients you are and while I don't work exclusively for Harvey, he hired me and therefore he is my first priority” His voice is still stern while he throws his bag filled with the files across his body. “Now if you excuse me Harvey is waiting for me.” And with that being his final statement he walks right now, confident and head held high. Till he is out of sight that is. From there he practically speed walks in a panic out of fear of being late, Mike has never been the best with time. 

“You’re gonna make us late,” Harvey says dryly as soon as he steps outside, Ray is holding Harvey’s door but both are open. 

“Sorry, Louis is in a mood this morning” He tried to explain although a part of him thinks doing that is pretty useless.

“I don’t care.”Harvey expectably comes back with a quick comment while they duck into the car. “How many times do I have to tell you that you are my associate, I come first, especially to Louis” Harvey finishes, voice dry but still annoyed at him. 

Mike has about had it at this point but it's one thing to shout at Louis and another to shout at Harvey, his boss, his mentor. Instead, he just sighs again and gives a weak nod, not in the mood for anything anymore. 

‘God, could today get anymore draining?’ he asks himself like he knew the answer as if he was Donna 2.0. 

“I know and you do come first, he just had me in a corner” He tries to explain again but he’s not certain if he’s just making things worse. He doesn’t want to start any more office drama between the two there is already enough as it is. 

He turns to Harvey to see him just roll his eyes and say nothing. Mike suddenly feels horrible and all he wants to do now is sleep. Which is kinda sad considering he was passionate about this case, he really adores Oliva’s little girl Millie.

Millie is a small four-year-old girl that has the cutest green eyes with tiny clusters of freckles on her face and arms. From what Mike has seen from her she likes princess, coloring, and being picked up which is interesting to him because he never liked it as a kid. When Harvey and Mike first met her he swore he saw Harvey smile when she answered the door all confused like but from the moment Mike saw her he knew he had to win this case. Millie didn’t even have to speak yet and all he wanted to do was give her and her mother the best deal he could. Now he’s not sure he has the energy to fulfill this which hurts even more. 

Once they arrive at the small condo, Mike is the first to get out because while he doesn’t have the energy to be here he’s certain seeing Millie will lift his spirits. She always did even if they had only seen each other twice. He gives Ray a farewell wave as he picks a flower from under a nearby tree, not caring about the confused look Harvey gave him for that. 

“I didn’t know you were into flowers?” Harvey throws a loose joke in what Mike takes as Harvey’s way of saying sorry for being a dick earlier.

If only that was enough. If only Mike could move on as Harvey does. Just act like it never happened at all. What Mike would give for the ability to just forget that kiss ever happened, to act like every time he sees Harvey a part of him doesn’t break off. 

“There are a lot of things you don’t know about me, Specter,” he said with a bleak tone, not even hiding it this time but before either of them could talk about it, not that was gonna happen anyway, a door opens. 

A woman with long black hair put up in a messy bun, she was clearly in the middle of housework or maybe even an early dinner but she welcomes them in and even offers them a drink which neither of them takes. Mike is only focused on where Millie is. 

“Lawyer Mike!” A little voice yells running in from what Mike can only assume is her room. She’s wearing a cute summer dress with gray leggings underneath. Her brown curly locks have soft pink bows in them to match her pink house slippers. “Is that flower for my mommy?” the innocent voice asks and Mike can only smile but shakes his head no.

“No, silly, it's for the princess. You can’t come to the royal castle without an offering” He explains before kneeling to give it to her. Harvey walks right past them after giving a wave to Millie even though she is too busy with the flower in her hands. 

Mike watches as Harvey goes over to Oliva who was in fact in the kitchen making what seems to be breakfast food for dinner. Mike can’t help but feel nostalgic, he and grammy used to do that on Saturdays or when they couldn’t have a proper breakfast.  
“Good afternoon, Mrs. Peterson. We were just in the neighborhood and wanted to make sure everything was going as planned.”He hears Harvey's voice, he sounds relaxed but he can’t tell whether he is faking it or not. 

Harvey was good at that, faking things to get what he wanted and Mike hated it. He hated how Harvey views emotions because Mike is a big ball of feelings, he can’t think without his heart being involved if his life was on the line, that’s why pro bono cases were some of the most stressful for Mike, constantly trying to make sure he’s doing the right thing. 

Millie takes the flower and runs off with it, Mike wishes he could follow but that's not professional and besides he shouldn’t be using a kid as a distraction to keep away from Harvey. He’s certain he’s stronger than that. 

Getting up and meeting the two in the kitchen to jump in the conversion which is of course about the case. They aren’t in the kitchen anymore though, they moved to the living room. Oliva in a plush armchair and Harvey across from her on the sofa. 

“I know that’s what’s best for Millie and I’m not saying I won’t do it....” She trails off seeing Mike and motioning him to sit, he does, sitting in another plush armchair across from both of them, making a triangle shape. 

“But it hurts to leave him” He finishes for her because he gets it. No matter how hurt she is at her husband for leaving both Millie and herself she can’t help but still love him.

Yeah, Mike really understands that. 

“Yeah, something like that.” She confirms. “How did you know? If you don’t mind me asking because it’s kinda like you read my mind” She blurts out after a minute of silence.

Mike nods, implying that it is okay for her to ask even though he’s not sure what to say. It’s not like he can say ‘I know because I'm in love with my narcissist boss who I can’t help but smile about no matter how angry he makes me’ he definitely can’t say that. 

Harvey’s glaze isn’t making answering this question any easier but he dug himself in this hole so now he has to suck it up and get himself out of it. 

“I know” Mike stammers his eyes wondering for something to look at only to find her sympathetic face looking at him, Oliva looks so heartbroken and Mike wonders if he looks like that too. “I know what it’s like to still be in love with someone no matter how angry you are at them or how much they hurt you. I know that tightness in your chest when you see them. That initial feeling of anger when you meet their eyes but it fades away when your heart begins to race as soon as they speak.” He finishes, looking down at the dark oak flooring underneath him. He feels stripped and like a weight was lifted off of him at the same time. 

Everyone is silent now and that begins to raise some anxiety for Mike especially since he can still feel Harvey's eyes lingering on him. It takes a few sighs and dry coughs before someone even makes a sound. 

“Oh, Mike..” The young woman's benevolent voice makes him look up. Oliva’s green eyes look shiny like she’s about to cry and Mike can’t help but feel bad, he knew he shouldn’t have trailed off like that but once he started talking it just came out, like he had no control over it.

More like he has been holding that in for the last three days and it finally broke free. 

She stands and walks over to him, taking his hand and holding it in hers because she gets it, or at least some of it. 

“I knew from the moment I saw you I picked the right guy to handle my case,” she said confidently as she rubs her thumb against the skin of his palm. Her comment brings a smile to his face, a simple one but a smile on the less. 

“Yeah? Well, I promise we will do whatever we can to make this a little more bearable” He rescues which earns him a motherly kiss on his head. Something he hasn’t felt in years. 

“I know you will” She sounds so confident even though he knows how much pain she’s in because he feels it too. He almost considers asking her for lessons because he feels like his world is falling apart and it’s gonna take a whole lot more than a confident tone to fix it. 

An hour or two passes talking about the case and signing paperwork that Mike typed two days before when he hears a car horn outside letting Harvey and him know Ray is waiting. 

“It was nice seeing you again, Mrs. Peterson and you two Millie” Harvey stands while Mike put the paperwork and files into the bag he carries around everywhere. 

They all said their goodbyes and farewells, Mike earning a few hugs from both Millie and Oliva before closing the front door behind them as they left. Suddenly he wishes he had his bike and almost says he’s gonna walk because right now the last place he wants to be is alone with Harvey, especially after that small bit of a confession but he sees that Ray already has his door open and obeys, getting in and buckling up once again. 

“I didn’t know you fell in love” Harvey admits after a few minutes of dead silence, his tone is concerned but what about is beyond Mike and he really doesn’t want to have this conversation right now, opening up to the other would only make this whole thing worse on Mike’s end. 

“There are a lot of things you don’t know about me, Specter” He responds directly this time, leaving no room for questions. 

The ride back to the firm was completely silent after that.


	4. Scotch and Chilly nights

Wednesday (four days after the kiss) 

“He said he’s been in love before,” Harvey tells the redhead across from him. He’s not looking at her but it’s not like she doesn’t know how much this is affecting him. Ever since he heard that he can’t help but be insecure. He just wants to be enough for Mike and even though he acts like he is on top of the world all the time he is human too, he compares himself to every person Mike comes across, especially the ones that make his face go a little pink when he talks about them.

It’s almost midnight after a long day of acting like he didn’t kiss Mike four days ago and that what he said didn’t bother him. A bottle of expensive scotch is open and ready to refill the two glasses that are in use. The pair haven’t left the office yet and he’s sure anyone worth being paranoid about has left, Donna knows that whatever associates are left won’t dare to come up to Harvey’s office this late into the night. 

All things considered, it’s a gorgeous night, the moon and stars are as bright as the lights under them, the weather is just the perfect amount of chill, and even the city noise seems to be less annoying tonight. 

“Of course he’s been in love before, Harvey. He’s Mike.” Donna’s voice is still.

The only reason this conversion is even happening is because Donna stormed in with a bottle of scotch after everyone had left for the night. He knew he wasn’t going to get out of this one so he didn’t bother fighting her on it. 

He has, to be honest, he knew this was going to happen eventually because it’s been getting to him and it’s affecting his work. He’s already snapped on Louis more times than he can count and he’s given Mike more work than he’s used to just so they wouldn’t have to see each other. Harvey knows he’s doing it but it’s Donna that gets him to realize why like she always does. 

This is why she is here tonight, to get him to realize why everything feels like it's crashing on him, that he feels so out of control even when he’s still winning all his cases. So when she stormed in with the familiar bottle all he could do was nod and mentally thank her. 

“How do I fix this?” He dares to ask, voice worn out. He sounds exhausted and he is but from much more than work. 

“Do you love him?” She responds, she knows the answer but she isn’t the one in denial. She isn’t the one that needs to hear it either but it’s a start. 

“I care about him deeply, yes” He answers the only way he can, hoping that’s enough. When he hears her sigh he immediately knows it isn’t, that he missed something. 

“Harvey, I care about you deeply but that doesn’t mean I want you in my bed” She argues, softly. She knows he isn’t ready to admit his feelings but at least the closer isn’t ignoring them completely. She understands how much he cares about this kid, she can see the fear of rejection behind his brown eyes. Something she has never seen before. This kid was turning the best closer in New York city inside out and he didn’t even know it. 

“Do you think he wants me in his bed?”

“I think he didn’t pull away for a reason” She knows, of course, she knows how it happened. 

Just like she knows that Mike is at Harvey’s condo wishing he never told Harvey to leave Friday night and that he knew told him off in the car and how he wishes to be in Harvey’s arms more than anything. She knows, she always knows. She knows how significant they are to each other. They both have been running from their feelings for so long and if Donna has to be the one to get them to see what’s right in front of them then so be it, even if she has to pull a few strings and tell a few white lies. She loves them both too much to watch them suffer.

“What if you're wrong? What if I read him wrong? What if I'm not the one he wants?” Harvey speaks up after a few moments of silence, he’s looking at her again, and that when she sees it. Sees the heartbreak in his eyes, looking like a soft-spoken soul. 

“Harvey,” She says a bit more sternly. In all the years they have been working together she has seen him this shaken up where he guesses his abilities, let alone hers as well. This gets his attention and he puts the glass down to prove it. 

“If he didn’t want you, how do you explain his face lighting up every time you call him puppy or rookie? How do you explain that when I almost went to jail he still put you first? Huh? How do you explain that he wouldn’t throw you under the bus when Woodall wanted to put you both away? How in the world do you explain that his entire life from the moment you hired him is about finding you that smoke and gun no matter how hard the case is?” She explains. Her tone dulcet even though she is speaking quickly. 

“He chose you and stayed by your side through it all. He watched you play around with Scottie even though it broke his heart. He even let you yell at him time and time again when he betrayed you and still did whatever it took to earn your trust back. You might call him a boy but he is no boy, he's a man that knows what he wants and that someone is you.” She reassures. Putting her glass down next to Havey’s.

At the moment it all makes sense. The more he thinks about it, everything they went through he sees that it’s been leading to his moment. At the beginning of all of this Harvey thought he was crazy that it was just Mike’s loyalty that he was attracted to but as the months went on and the difficult cases piled up he couldn’t deny it anymore. It was so much then his loyalty that pulled him in deeper. It was his blue eyes and his sleepy smile, the way the sun made him flinch when it got in his eyes, it was his horrible taste in food. The way he constantly challenged Harvey to be a better man, to do more than just win, to care about the clients because they are people too. It was the way Mike and he just understood each other, like they could read each other’s minds. Their secret language and shared smiles that was the cherry on top of the most mesmerizing cake he has ever seen. That boy’s mind impressed him every day and even though he hasn’t said it Mike was his everything. They have been one for a very long time. Donna was right, she always was. 

They belong together and Harvey was going to see to it that they would never be without each other. 

Donna doesn’t say a word but she gets up, an honest and cheerful smile on her face. The one she gets when her plan worked. 

“What did you do?” He dares to ask again as she put his spare desk chair where it belongs. 

“It’s not about what I did” She starts, an impassive look on her face. Harvey straightens up in his chair. “It’s about what you're going to do” she’s stern but her look never changes. Leaning over the desk and pushing her red hair out of her face. “He’s waiting for you. Go get the man that chose you more times than one.” her expression changing into a meaningful one that makes her voice go soft. 

Harvey can’t be mad. He knows he should, she went behind his back, and now Mike is at his condo doing lord knows what and Harvey barely knows what to say but he can’t shake the feeling of wanting to pull that hopeless puppy close. He tries to give her a sour look but she isn’t buying it and he already knows Ray is waiting downstairs because no Donna full proof plan is complete without him being in on it too. 

“What would I do without you,” he comments, getting out of the chair, putting on the jacket that was thrown over the arm not too long ago. 

“Go get him, closer” She beams words of encouragement as he walks to the elevator.

It’s not a long ride home but tonight it feels longer than before. Donna’s words circling in his mind as he tries to find the right words to say. Ray glanced back at him from the mirror every time they hit a red light. He can tell Ray is trying to give him time to think by talking the long way around but by the time they get there he has drawn a blank. 

“Good Luck, Boss” His words of encouragement make him smile, they don’t talk much but Harvey has nothing but respect for him. 

“Thank you, Ray, take tomorrow morning off” He rewards with a set look in his eyes. He was determined to do this right no matter how this turned out. Mike deserved that. 

Fuck, Mike deserved the world and he’s scared shitless he can’t give it to him. 

Entering his condo has never been more nerve-wracking but he pushed through. Taking a breath and collecting himself, bringing back that stolid face and a sharp eye. His heart was racing and it didn’t have any intentions to stop but neither did Harvey. He wasn’t good with feelings and most times he’d have a panic attack talking about them but this was Mike and he was different. Mike makes him feel in control, Mike makes him the best closer in New York and if anyone deserved to hear him speak from the heart it was Mike. 

“Harvey?” He hears the confused tone and is meant with a tense stare when he moves deeper into his condo that feels more like the courtroom than a home.


	5. I chose you

Wednesday ( still four days after the kiss)

“Harvey?” Mike can’t stop himself from asking when he hears the door open. Donna had given him a key and told him to come because asked for him. While this was the last place he wanted to be he still couldn't say no, not to Harvey.

“Donna told me you-” The look in Harvey’s eyes stops him from continuing. All of sudden he’s speechless, he feels like he’s back at the Clinton trying to explain why weed just came out of his briefcase. 

Harvey looks so wary and wistful. His brown eyes trying to go to their usual stone expression and his body language is slowly like Mike was a scared puppy and to be honest, that’s how he feels at this very moment. 

“We need to talk” Even though he looks so shaken his tone is set and determined but not stern. Not like it usually is. That’s even Mike realizes Harvey is giving him the option to walk away from this because he isn’t blocking the doorway with his frame or trying to lead him anywhere. 

Mike has a decision and the only want he wants to take is whatever one will bring him closer to Harvey

“Sure..yeah, we need to talk” he agrees in an anxious tone. 

It takes a few minutes but Harvey holds his hand out and Mike takes in. Harvey removes his jacket after leading Mike to the memory foam sofa. 

“Is this about the case” He is really wishing it is but Harvey just sighs and sits down across from him. 

“No, Mike, this is about us” He answers still in a set tone with no emotion in it. Mike only assumes the worst from that moment. Now wishing he never let Donna talk him into this.   
“You mean how you walked into my apartment and kissed me?” Mike corrects, quickly gets defensive to try to show he doesn’t care but this is already breaking his heart in half. 

It takes another few more minutes for Harvey to answer and Mike can’t look at him. He was busy looking at the floor because it seemed to be swaying as the man he has been dreaming about since they met was slipping away from him. 

“Yes, that” Harvey confirmed, still almost no emotion in his tone. 

“You made it pretty clear there isn’t an us” He mumbles breathlessly. 

More awkward silence filled the air as Harvey goes to what Mike can only assume is expensive scotch. His heart was racing, anxiety was making the world spin and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. Even when the glass was placed on the table in front of him he couldn’t even mutter a thank you or look at him. 

They were so fucked and Rachel was right. You can never go back from this. At first, he wasn’t sure they would ever talk about it considering Harvey is against having emotions and Mike...well Mike would figure out how to deal with it on his own time, but it started bleeding onto their work. Jessica even said something to him a few days ago and Louis won’t stop yelling at him about being Harvey’s golden boy when the truth is yesterday is the first time they really walked since it happened. Donna and Rachel were the only people who seemed to care about his well being at this point, both of them taking him to their side to talk or enjoy an early lunch. Rachel didn’t know all the details but she talks to Donna and those two inseparable. 

“We aren’t the same since it happened” Mike starts this time, looking at the ground but glances at Harvey and locking eyes. “If you need me to resign then I will.” he tries not to sound confident but he knows Harvey can see right through it. It was a bittersweet trait that Harvey used to win cases and to see if he was lying to him. 

“No.” Harvey responds quickly as if he didn’t even consider it. While that makes Mike’s heart jump it also creates a whole new struggle. Faking that they are okay around the partners to please Jessica. 

“What do you mean ‘no’?” His tone is mildly aggressive. 

“I mean no, Mike.”

“Well, what else is there!?” Mike feels like yelling at the top of his lungs because his heart is breaking and it's like Harvey doesn’t care at all. They need a way out and Mike is giving them that and of course, Harvey is pulling him closer like he always does.

Fuck, this shouldn’t be this hard. 

“Mike, sit down” Harvey demands but Mike didn’t even realize he was standing. 

“No, you don’t get to tell me what to do, Harvey” he crosses his arms in front of his puffed-out chest. “You don’t get to kiss me and act like it never happened!” He’s yelling now but he’s only half-aware.

His world feels like it's crashing on him. Harvey has given him everything from the moment he hired him, he has given him a family he can rely on. The job of his dreams and risked his ass for him over and over again. To Mike, Harvey is the only person that can make Mike feel okay anymore. He doesn’t know what to do without him, without their partnership.

“You don’t get to play it off because you don’t want to talk about it! You can’t just fuck with my heart and leave me just to deal with it! You have been pushing me away for days and when I finally stopped pushing back you just let me go!” His body is tense and he can’t look at the wide eye Harvey who is now standing. His nails dig into his forearms, pulling on the sweater he put on before coming here. Trying to hug himself..something to allow him to breathe again. Tears swelling up in his eyes. 

He keeps going, bitterly. “I’m not gonna be another one of your one night stands, Harvey! Oh my god..is this why you ‘needed” Mike so caught up in the emotional moment that he doesn’t see Harvey pick up the empty scotch glass and throw it at the cabinet next to him. 

“God damn it, Mike!” Mike freezes, observing what just happened. It all went by so fast he can't think. He needs to leave. That's all he knows because he can’t do this. 

He can’t lose Harvey. 

“I can’t do this” he whispers just enough for them to hear it. A few salty tears run down his cheek, his hands are shaking. He doesn’t even reach for his bag which he brought because he was really hoping this was about the case, just heading for the door. 

However, Harvey stops him dead in his tracks by grabbing his wrist. Mike looked at him, seeing much more than his boss, he was looking at his soulmate. Harvey stood there holding his wrist with tormented eyes that were developing tears of their own. 

They lock eyes and the grip on his wrist has never been this firm. 

In a shaken voice Harvey whispers “...stay…” and Mike feels like he can breathe again. 

“Why?..” He has to ask, he needs to hear more than just his plea. He needs to know that what they have is real because if it isn’t Mike wants nothing to do with it. 

“Be-...because” Harvey stutters, he’s trying to find the right thing to say because this isn’t easy for either of them. “Because I love you” he finally gets it out and it’s music to Mike’s ears. Now he can breathe again. 

“I always have and I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to come to terms with it but I’m here now.” Harvey continues and even starts him pulling closer. Mike feels the other heartbeat race and he somehow finds that comforting to know he’s not the only one freaking out. 

Looking up at the older man, he sees the most important person in his life. He puts his shaky hand on Harvey’s chest enjoying the warm embrace that makes him almost forget the glass they are both stepping in right now. 

“And if the world thinks it can keep us apart, then it hasn’t been paying attention because there is nothing, nothing, I wouldn’t do just to stay by your side” Harvey finishes pouring his heart out and Mike is truly speechless. He takes it upon himself to close the gap in between them.

Kissing Harvey was just as good as it was the first time but this was filled with so much more passion. Mike was right where he wanted to be and even though it wasn’t easy and they didn’t do it on their own but this was a new chapter in their lives. 

It was gonna be okay.

They are gonna be okay.

“I love you too” he whispers as they pull away for air. 

“Yeah?” Harvey askes with a small smug look on his face, wiping the tears from Mike’s puppy eyes. But Mike senses the insecurity in Harvey’s own eyes and like always Mike knows just what to say to pull at the heartstrings of the best closer in New York City. 

“Of course, I chose you, Batman” Pulling him into a deepening kiss. 

The next morning Mike finds a note in his bag when looking for a highlighter. It was taped to a new case file he hasn’t seen before, written in cursive that Mike could point out anywhere. 

‘You remember when you said I didn’t know a lot about you? Well, how about you show me, Robin?'

Yeah, they were going to be perfectly okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end!!! I hope you liked it. This was my first ever full fanfic with more than one chapter. Thank you for all the kudos and bookmarks!! Hopefully, in the near future I write more but until then thank you for your support my fellow Marvey shippers.


End file.
